tale as old as time

By Laura D. Testino

I traded in the provincial life of suburbia for adventure in the great wide somewhere of New York City yesterday afternoon, so of course today was the day that the teaser trailer for Beauty and the Beast was released to the world.

I am Belle. Belle is me. (I mean actually Belle is going to be played by Emma Watson, but same rules apply, i.e. I am Emma Watson, Emma Watson is me.)

I would like to thank Mom and Dad, for not being like the parents of today and realizing that 94 minutes of screen time every afternoon devoted to the original Disney version of Beauty and the Beast would later shape me into the 21-year-old woman I am today. One who refuses to convert to reading books electronically and chronically makes the reckless economic decision to purchase words printed on paper, over and over again. I would also like to thank my very favorite baritenor in the whole world, my boyfriend Jordan DeWitt, for being great and having the perfect vocal range for singing all of the Beast songs. This has nothing to do with why we are still dating. And I would also like to thank East Village. I will gladly be your guest. A guest, that is, that pretends she hates living in a tiny space with no hot showers, but eventually falls in love with the giant room of books – I mean The Strand – right near her bedroom and then never moves out. You all are wonderful.

And now, a visual homage to my role in the teaser trailer I (okay, yeah, Emma Watson, same thing) am featured in. March 17 is only 297 days away.